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Guns N’ Roses: A review of the Seoul Concert experience.

December 15th, 2009 | 7 Comments | Posted in Music

WARNING: This is a long post!

Prologue

This was my 5th GN’R show since 1992, and I consider myself something of a veteran of the experience. I have my ‘routine’. I get smashed, I go buy merchandising, and I head inside. I then worm my way to the front, and bounce around like a twat for the first five or six songs. The problem with being at the front is you are usually struggling to see anything, so I then retire for a while, smoking and drinking, before getting to the front for the 2 hour mark, and bouncing around like a maniac for the last few tunes. This was my plan in Seoul. It didn’t quite work.

NOTE: I have watermarked these pics to try and prevent direct linking. I threw up all of my photo’s on a popular GN’R forum earlier today and used 7Gb bandwidth in just a few hours… If you want copies, get in touch.

Pre-Show drinky-time

For the past few weeks, my company have had me spend a lot of time at their HQ, which is conveniently located next to the Olympic Park Stadium. I had a route set up that would have me leave Duncheondong Subway station, and then crawl the many bars en-route. There was a great street that seemed perfect!

I arrived at 2pm, 5 hours before the doors were due to open, and I headed to a bar. Closed. The next one? Closed. Despite there being a huge number of people heading to a show that day, the bars had decided 8pm was to be a good opening time. Arse!

My pal and I decided we should get some food (with beer) instead, and so we did that before heading to the venue around 5pm. I was happy to find a GS25 ourside the arena, and so I stocked up with a couple of tall Carlsberg’s and went shopping. w30,000 per shirt seemed fair. I got 2.

Shirt 1 - Front Shirt 1 - Back

Shirt 2

I threw them both over the shirt I was already wearing (from the 2002 ‘Buckethead’ tour), and did my thing of ‘mingling’. My friend and I had already spoken with an older Korean guy on the way over, and we came across him again outside GS25. We got chatting, and it turns out he is a University Professor. We exchanged cards with the promise that, come hiring time, he will call. We’ll see.

Standing around, drinking, nature called. We went looking for a toilet, and came across an express queue for people with standing tickets up to number 1000. As luck would have it…

DSC_0121-2

We found a queue for 나300-399 and took a place. Then the Korean staff realised they had messed up, so they moved the lines around… We took a place at the end of the new line (for tickets 나300-599).

Prior to the show, my wife had told me that we had to go in to the show in the correct order. I laughed at her, drawing upon my own experiences, and told her there is no way a crowd for a GN’R show could be made to queue that way. Indeed, a number of people pushed ahead of us in this line. I was amazed that she was somewhat correct. I didn’t know the half of it…

At around 6:30, some staff started checking ticket numbers, making sure people were in the correct place.

P091213002

Yeah… I got bumped to the front! The people behind were pissed (especially those we had mocked for being so petty as to nudge in front of us), but I thought it was hilarious.

We hung around whilst the Korean staff tried to organise the swelling crowd. They had a problem though… a large number of foreigners who had no idea what was happening. I could be an arse and say that the military guys were the problem, but alas they were not the worst… I was trying my best to explain to any fellow foreigners I came across, and with the exception of drunken Scottish arseholes the occasional teacher, most people were getting it. But then… I couldn’t quite get to everybody, could I? Well… could I?

The Korean staff noticed that I was trying to be a helpful prick, and asked me to do a favour and address the crowd. That’s right… I got a MEGAPHONE! And I had a crowd! I rocked (even if I did move too fast for the cameraphone).

P091213005 P091213006

It was pretty nice to be able to provide a service, and being Finally… we got into the show.

The Venue

The Olympic Park stadium is a pretty sweet venue, and I would rank it as one of the best I have ever visited. We were led into the stadium (in order), and because we had floor tickets, we followed the labyrinth of corridors that I guess were intended for officials and sportsmen. We saw no amenities along the way. This could only mean one thing: NO BEER!

We took position at a pretty good spot at the centre-right of the stage (between the 2 walkways for anybody who was there). The Stage set-up was awesome, yet apparently, nowhere near as good as they have planned. Taipei and Korea put restrictions on the size and pyrotechnics, so Japanese and Canadian concertgoers are in for something of a treat!

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(That’s my hat on the bottom right… we were pretty close up)

There were some problems before the show. Apparently, the band were late arriving in Korea (and we later found out they arrived via a somewhat speedy Police escort). The support act was bizarre… First a guitarist and Korean folk-style singer (who had a sweet voice, but was playing to the wrong crowd) sang 1 song, followed by the official support act… they played 2 (or perhaps 3) songs and then left.

The road crew then started setting up for the main attraction… and in doing so noticed something amiss as the electric screwdrivers were brought out en-masse to secure one of the walkways.

Whilst waiting, a huge (6’2” at a guess) American teacher I was chatting with noticed a tiny Korean behind us. The poor girl would have been 5” in heels… she got moved in front of her, and so her father (and friend) also muscled in. She seemed pretty pleased to be there, despite not being able to see a thing, and having her old man watch her like a hawk. What really pissed me off though… her dad made her STUDY from her high school Hanja book during the break between the support act and GN’R! That was no way to enjoy your first GN’R show. At my first GN’R show, I was a 15 year old 5’2” midget who was allowed to get to the front of a hardcore Wembley Stadium crowd… I have always felt I should repay that favour, and have tried wherever possible. I made a vow that she was going to benefit from my veteran crowd ‘riding’ skills as soon as the show started.

I was true to my word too… As soon as the show started, I got in front of her, faced her, told her to follow, dug in my heels, and used my back/shoulders to clear a path to the front of the arena for her. As people were bouncing around, they were easy to move. As soon as she was at the barrier, I moved back a little – I’m not that much of an arsehole! I’m sure she will remember that act of kindness for years to come, so I felt pretty damn good about doing it. Her dad looked pissed though…

There was one little incident I should comment on before going into a breakdown of the show… There was a stupid bitch who I lost it with. She was right up in the crowd with a huge telephoto camera. Anybody who knows about St. Louis knows that Axl Rose does not like people taking his picture. Telephoto lenses are a big no-no at GN’R shows. She was up there, taking shots in the crowd, and was telling people to stop jumping! She tried that with me… at first I politely ignored her. When she persisted I told her to “Fuck off”. Still she persisted, so I told her “One more photo, it’s going up your arse”. She tried one more (still complaining about the people moving around – at the front of a GN’R show!), but after I made a grab for it, she put it away.

  • Camera = OK (hey, my friend had one)
  • Telephoto DSLR = not OK
  • Telephoto DSLR at the front = Fucking Moronic!

Silly Camera Ajumma almost fucked my night up! Anyway…

Guns N’ Roses

Yeah. It was awesome. For those that don’t know, here is the current line-up (in the order they joined), along with my take on their performance…

The Band

Axl Rose: Vocals

His voice was strong, though not as strong as I saw them in 2006. I would guess that it was struggling after his first show in 2 years just 2 days before. Don’t get me wrong… it was awesome, and people commented on how ‘full’ it sounds, but I am sure that people who see them in a few weeks will hear the full extent of his voice. He was hitting the notes on the complex Chinese Democracy songs (with the exception of ‘Sorry’ – more on that later), though at times it showed that he was still uncomfortable playing they live. The older tunes, the songs he knows inside-out, allowed him to relax, and so it is still the AFD songs where he sounds his best. The ‘older’ CD songs (Street of Dreams, CD, and Better) that he has been playing live for some time sound awesome, but the tracks getting their first airing still need ironing out.

Dizzy Reed: Keys

Dizzy looked great. I remember him during the Illusion Era and he looked like a slob. Last time around, he looked better, but was still a rocker. Now he looks like a concert pianist. Strange stuff! His playing on the CD songs (the only songs that really need him, with the exception of the occasional UYI track) allow him to show just how great a player he is. He is still pretty low key though, and being up on the plinth on stage, he was easily overlooked.

Tommy Stinson: Bass

This guy is, without a doubt, the “number 2” in GN’R. That’s been noticiable in the past (it was Tommy taking the piss out of Axl for ranting at Docklands), but last night he was making all setlist decisions. At first, Axl was asking him “What do you want to play next”, but later they were having mini-conferences on the stage about how to proceed, pointing out tracks on a setlist taped to the floor at Tommy’s mic stand). He plays as well as he ever did. I had a guy say to me “the guy playing Duff is acting like a punk”… well… if anybody thinks Tommy Stinson is “acting” punk, go do some reading on his heritage! Tommy rocks!

Chris Pitman: Keys & other stuff

I liked Pitman from the first time I saw him at Docklands in 2002, with his crazy wibbly-wobbly keyboard shit going on. Although his keys are steady these days (I think), his shit is crazier than ever. The real beauty of Pitman though, is that you don’t really notice what he is doing… and I mean that as a compliment.

Richard Fortus: Guitar

Richard Fortus plays the fuck out of his guitar. Official! I always get the feeling he is having a blast in stage, and last night was no exception. He is too often referred to as a rhythm guitarist, largely due to the talent he is surrounded by, but his solos are impeccably blues based. He is probably the guy “most like Slash” in the current line-up, in that he is solidly blues-based when he plays with GN’R.

Frank Ferrer: Drums

Another guy who seems very happy to be on the stage every night. He pounds the shit out of his drums, and though there are still a lot of people who want Brain’s technical abilities up there, I for one would much rather see a guy playing for the sheer joy of playing!

Ron “Bumblefoot” Thal: Guitar

Ron played as well as ever. The guy is seriously talented, and yet does none of the ‘ego’ stuff that guitarists usually do. His new guitar is a thing of real beauty – twin necked, with the top a beautiful fretless. Last time around, Ron was the new guy. This time, he isn’t… I would love to have seen him come out and engage the crowd a little more (and he may have done, on the other side of the stage), but his style seems more laid back than that.

DJ Ashba: Guitar

The new guy. When I heard GN’R had a guitarist called DJ, I was gutted. It’s the kind of name I would expect in some kind of wanky nu-metal band, not Guns N’ Roses. Then I found out they were his initials, so I calmed the fuck down. He looks strange as shit. Good looking, yet covered in tattoos, and he dresses like some kind of post-apocolyptic crack-head. He also makes guitars look ugly. I didn’t want to like him, much as I didn’t want to like GN’R when I saw them in 2002. Well… I loved him!

He plays well. Very well. But we expect that. He is a pro at engaging the crowd. Everybody knew who he was. I didn’t hear anybody calling out for Slash… It was all DJ… DJ… He had a few nice signature pieces when playing, that come across as cocky and nice at the same time. No matter what he was doing, he always had this goofy smile on his face that made him likable. The crowd were apeshit for him, and by the end of the 2nd song, so was I.

The Mixers/Engineers

I will add them here, as I think they deserve a mention. The best live act will sound like shit without the right people doing their job. These people were fuck-ups. They screwed up the opening chords. They screwed up the volumes on mics and guitars. Sure, sometimes the feedback made a reduction in volume necessary, but then those deadspots should have been identified and fixed (or marked out) before the fucking show started. I’m sure most people didn’t notice, but I tend to watch GN’R with a critical eye – they are my favourite band, one of only 3 bands I have bothered to see more than once, and I tend to notice things more than the average Joe.

The set

Thanks to Jarmo from HTGTH for keeping track of this. I would never remember. Well I would, thanks to RaspAxl for bootlegging it and getting me a copy of the raw .wav files.  No I won’t send anybody a copy. He will release it when he wants to. God knows, he deserved the credit.

As soon as the house lights came down, the stage lights went up, and the intro music started to play…

Chinese Democracy (9/10)

GN’R, back in the day, started almost every gig with It’s So Easy or Nightrain. Since 2002, it has been Welcome to the Jungle. I needed this show to start with CD, and I wasn’t dissapointed. It was time to do away with the Appetite for Destruction openers. The stage lit up, and then from nowhere, a silhouette appeared… it looked fucking iconic. Ladies and Gentlemen, DJ Ashba!

Chinese Democracy, DJ This is where the sound guys first pissed me off… he chopped a few of the opening chords… and nothing. During the second set of chops, they fixed the volume. As soon as the music really kicked in, the crowd went nuts (and I took Homework girl to the front). A good, solid opener, that was FRESH! The new band own this music, and I am glad they got to open with it.

Axl RoseAxl looked… wierd. He looks older, and seems to have aged a lot over the past few years. He quickly showed the crowd that his voice was solid, and that he could still run around the stage like a horse with a spike up its arse.  The pyro’s were sick… 20 foot flames coming out of the front of the stage!

Back to the sound problems though… with the first track you EXPECT sound problems, as the engineers do their thing and get levels tweaked. But come on….. TURN THE FUCKING VOLUME UP!!!

Anyway… As soon as the track was over, a very familiar riff began… “You know where the fuck you are?

Welcome to the Jungle (10/10)

As crowd pleasing as crowd pleasers can be, the whole place erupted! I have to say, this is the best I have ever heard this tune played. I would jumping around like a psycho at this point, so there isn’t too much for me to remember, other than camera ajumma starting her shit.

It’s So Easy (10/10)

The opening bass notes sounded out before the final scream of Jungle had stopped reverberating around the room. There was serious role reversal going on around this song. I was surrounded by the usually outwardly conservative Koreans singing lines like “Why don’t you just… Fuck off!”, or the feminist’s favourite “turn around bitch I’ve got a use for you… besides you ain’t got nothing better to do.. and I’m bored.”, and Axl Rose was giving a humble bow at the end of every song…. strange strange shit!

Seoul… Korea… So good to see you here tonight. Thank you for having us.

Mr. Brownstone (10/10)

Again, the song sounded awesome. This is a staple – usually the second song of just about every GN’R set… to me it has become filler… expected… boring (if it wasn’t for the fact I was still jumping around like a loon). It seems refreshed though… I will put it down to the DJ factor. It seems the right thing to do.

Now come on. I heard… Tell the truth. You didn’t think I was coming, did you?

Axl was referring to the news going around that the band hadn’t made it to Korea when they were supposed to. The band requested that people be informed that shit would be happening 1 hour later than planned, so they didn’t worry. Which is nice, if strange. Last time I saw them, they hit the stage at 11:30 despite an advertised 8pm start, and it was never mentioned. Thankfully, I had threatened camera ajumma enough that I could properly enjoy…

Shacklers Revenge (10/10)

Another new one. I was surprised when I heard they played this one live in Taipei. It is such a wierd track that I didn’t think they would ever pull it off, especially with the key changes that happen throughout. Well… they pulled it off. It worked. Stinson provided great backing vocals (something that seems to be his ‘job’ now). I bounced.

T’was the night before Christmas, when all through the house. Not a creature was stirring, except the strange being… called… Bumblefoot.

There Was a Time (10/10)

The beginning of this track had some wobbly vocals, though I could see Axl fucking with his in-ear monitor so I will chalk that one up to the sound guys again. After the first few lines he was back on track… until the volume on his mic went nutty.

This is another song with a wierd key sitting at the top of Axl’s range, and it was visibly tough for him to hit some of the notes. The outro was fantastic. I would have given this song 12/10 if it wasn’t for the sound fuck-ups at the beginning.

I wanna introduce you to somebody. Let me just figure out where he is. Ladies and gentleman, on the guitar…. a Mr. Richard Fortus.

One of my criticisms GN’R the last time around was the solo’s. In the 90’s, guitar solos were handled by Slash. He had 1 or 2, but you know… he was Slash… the reason I picked up a guitar! It was a few years before I realised he was a 1-trick pony.

At the Buckethead show, I loved Buckethead’s solos. He was just wierd… and how can you not like a guy who plays Star Wars and Willy Wonka tunes for guiar solos?!

In 2006, they were pretty boring. The ‘new’ Ron Thal was fun, but I never cared for Robin Finck, who’s anarchistic style was not too pleasing to the ear. Richard was great in 2006… he played Christine Aguilera’s “Beautiful” as his solo, and it was awesome. Still… 3 guitarists looking for a solo, and it killed the pace of the show. 2009 though…. Richard Fortus was showpieced with the entire band playing:

The James Bond Theme (11/10)

Fucking Awesome! It also led nicely into…

Live and Let Die

I’m not going to give this a score. I retreated to the bathroom for a shifty smoke (really… NO smoking?!), and to indulge in stage 2 of the experience (watch from afar). I’m sure it was great, but frankly, I’m sick of hearing it live. Besides… I’ve seen McCartney play it in his hometown!

Ladies and Gentlemen, on the drums, Mr. Frank Ferrer.

Drum Solo (10/10)

Never liked them, never will do. I will give him 10/10 for not being Matt Sorum. Seriously… Matt Sorum used to do 15 fucking minute drum solos! Twat! Ozzy Osbourne had it right. In his first stint with Sabbath, he would sabbotage Bill Ward’s solso by singing “Drum Solo’s are boring” over the top. Good news though… this was about 3 minutes and led nicely into…

Sorry (8/10)

I’m giving this 8/10 as Axl’s voice was all over the place. It sounded pretty bad at times. The song is pretty strange, and he seemed to be having trouble deciding where to play it. I must say though… I am sitting here listening to it from a bootleg, and it isn’t half as bad as I remembered – perhaps I got a shitty mix where I was. The music was beautiful. The guitars sound sublime, and the drumming is beyond perfect. This is my number 2 track from CD, and I was pretty stoked to hear it, despite the problems.

I think that’s the second time I ever sang that song. I’m “sorry” I did that to you!

What you wanna play? Alright! A little bit of pocket queen.

Rocket Queen (12/10)

Fucking epic! The best I have ever heard them play it. Fortus was amazing with the slide. The voice was top notch. This is my favourite AFD track, and I never tire of hearing it. If I get a show with this on the listing, I always skip to it to judge how well they are playing on the night. This was up there with the best of them.

On the guitar, we have a new addition. [Crowd goes nuts] Who? Who do you say? Oh… so…. you know this guy? Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr DJ Ashba.

DJ Ashbo solo spot (10/10)

Again, a solo that involved the band, but DJ was out there doing his thing. Beautiful. A melancholy piece that just wailed the blues.

Ashba

The crowd loved this guy. He can play, that’s for fucking sure! Then the whole place erupted when he went straight into…

Sweet Child O’ Mine (10/10)

But then… they could play this on Kazoo’s and washboards and the crowd would still go apeshit!

I don’t know… I tire of hearing this song, but it still sends shivers down my spine when I hear it live. They just get it ‘right’ every time. The crowd energy during this song was probably the peak of the show, and the band played the shit out of it. The 3 guitar set-up helps bring the best out of it too… you have Fortus bashing the shit out of the guitar at times, and an other times he is picking away gently…. they can afford to do that when they aren’t confined to the rhythm/lead roles.

The sound guys fucked this up a little too… the guitarists switch lead parts throughout, and they seem to have mixed up who should be up/down in the mix. Still… it was awesome.

On the Keyboards, Mr. Chris Pitmann. How about a light on the keyboard players? Onto stage right… Mr Dizzy “Diswald” Reed

Ziggy Stardust (Instrumental) 10/10

A beautiful rendition of Ziggy Stardust. Just Piano. I was singing along to every word!

Street of Dreams (10/10)

You know… the first time I heard this song live, I thought “meh”… so far, so November Rain”. But it’s a fucking grower! I was never a fan of November Rain though… well, I was, but MTV killed it for me. I still cringe when I hear it. Street of Dreams though… It’s an awesome piece of music. The lyrics are fantastic. And, as they have been playing it live for years, it has become a powerhouse staple of the set. The guitars wailed, and quiet passages seemed whispered, which only added to the impact of the louder parts.

You Could Be Mine (10/10)

A drum-led Guns N’ Roses chant, some feedback, and the familiar drums kicked in. I love this song. It’s the tune that really turned me onto GN’R in ‘91, and was just cool as shit! I sang this one at the top of my lungs (like the last one, and the one before that). Shit… I even do the quick bit in the middle!

The crowd were apeshit. Tommy did an awesome job singing backup. Axl was doing his “horse spike arse” thing. The final “Miiiiinnnnneeeeee” sent shivers down my spine. What more could you want?

After the track, the band started fucking around whilst they decided what to do next. They broke into a few bars of “Black Betty”, until Tommy Yelled out:

My Generation in G”… 1, 2, 1,2,3,4

NO fucking around… The song was already well underway when Axl Yelled

“Ladies and Gentleman, Mr. Tommy Fucking Stinson!”

My Generation 10/10

A fucking WHO song at a GN’R show! Seriously. I was creaming! Scroll back up… I’m wearing my fucking Parka to the show! I always said that My Generation was the first ever punk song, and here it was, punk as fuck, in double time. People stepped aside for me. ‘Nuff said!

That was fucking mad! How you fucking doing Korea! Take a fucking seat!

November Rain

The piano came out to play. Like I said before, I don’t like November Rain much. Yeah I know… shoot me. I went for a smoke. I got back just before the end. People seemed happy enough, and I made my way back to a better spot…

I have since watched it ona  HQ bootleg video (not the full show, just this song), Fortus wailed on the first solo, DJ wailed on the second, and Ron fucking screamed at the end.

The pyro’s were awesome at the end I saw them… 20 foot flames coming across the front of the stage. How can that NOT be amazing?

The band had a jam whilst the Piano went back into it’s hole. They played a little bit of “Talk A Walk on the Wild Side” whilst Axl and Tommy seemed to be deciding what song to play next.

Better (10/10)

A song that is just awesome live. Shit… it’s awesome on the LP, but LIVE?! I was back into a reasonable position for this tune, and jumping like a maniac again.

Are we having a good night? They gave us… a police escort from the airport here. I think I was about to ‘toss my cookies’ into the back-seat on that little ride

(The Seoul roads are chaos at the best of times… I can’t imagine what a 7pm dash across town would be like with a Police escort!)

Let’s see… how about… how about a little… some Bob?

Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door (10/10)

This is another song I hated, thanks to MTV. They played the fuck out of the Freddie MErcury tribute performance. I skip it on the album now. Thankfully, the band have played it VERY differently since the firs performances in December 99 and January 2000. I love the new version! Axl’s voice is amazing… the first time I heard live (2002) I was looking for the female backing singers, and it took me a while to realise that Axl was doing that voice too. Some nice, subtle drumming, and screaming guitars. Fantastic.

Ron starts playing some country-style tune…

That’s my theme song to get here for this tour… Smokey and the Bandit. We got a long way to go and a short time to get there!

Speaking of Greatest hits of the 50’s, 60’s, 70’s 80’s 90’s and 2000’s, it’s Mr. Ron “Bumblefoot” Thal

Pink Panther Theme (10/10)

Superb! Again, the guitar “solo” was a band effort that people could enjoy as a tune. Totally rocking Pink Panther!

Paradise City (10/10)

It led right into Paradise City. The usual fare here… Whistles were thrown, things went boom, AxlPC1 streamers fell from the roof, and Axl yelled “Seoul, Korea…. Thank you… Good… Fucking… Night!”.

I was pissed. As soon as it started, I knew we were getting no encore. I am guessing there was a curfew (it finished at 11:30 exactly). They skipped the whole going off and coming back on again to make sure they could play more, and I understand that… but still… no encore. Fuck!

Yeah, it was great. Yeah, the 3 guitarists soloing together was awesome. Year, it was amazing. But… NO FUCKING ENCORE!!! This meant… Nooooo!!!

Axl PC

My wife really wanted to come to this show. Really fucking wanted to! She is a typical fan (Sweet Child O’ Mine, Don’t Cry, November Rain), but, on the first day Chinese Democracy was out, she came bursting into the room I was blasting it from and made me repeat a song, It brought tears to her eyes.

So… she wanted to go. But we have a very young child. She didn’t want to leave her alone for the day, and she is at least 12 months away from being able to accompany us, so the wife stayed home.I planned to surprise her, and call her when it was playing. The song is “This I Love”. They played it in Taepei. As much as I disliked Robin Finck, it is the one thing I wish I could hear him play live. So, I will never hear him play it, but I don’t care – I heard Ashba did “better than fine”. I wanted more than anything to hear that one song. My wife would have been a very happy woman had I called her when it was playing. It wasn’t going to happen.

Because of this, I left on a bit of a downer. It sucks, because it was an awesome show. There were problems early on, but the first 20-30 minutes are always the rough spots when a band plays. The sound problems (particularly feedback and mixing) caused problems throughout the show, but the band played an amazing set and they entertained the fuck out of everybody that evening. I just wish they had played that one song.

Ah well… There’s always 2010!

UPDATE: Axl got a message out about the show via twitter as I was typing this up:

Seoul, S. Korea!! Fantastic energy w/the fans! They really took over KOHD. Hearing’em singing along w/Better was a surprise! It was fun playin’ Sorry live n’ my bad not goin’ longer. A few mixups n’ gear needed 2 ship but it feels good sortin’ out the sheeot. It’s such a different animal in the heat of the moment n’ gettin’ into our reformulated chemistry! 1st indoor gig w/new staging! R in-ear mix was like listenin’ to an old AM transistor radio somewhere between bein’ in a barrel of toxic waste at the bottom of the ocean or while takin’ a “dump” in a tin shitter while a pack of Zombies r beatin’ on it with iron pipes! Ha!! Soon as we can stop ingesting this Korean BBQ (Shoutout 2 the 2Jens!!) it’s on to Osaka, JP where we got r own brand of KamiKaze 2 unleash!!

So the in-ear monitor was fucked up…

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I need a suit!

December 12th, 2009 | 2 Comments | Posted in Family, Korea

And no, it isn’t for a court date! My sister-in-law is getting married in January. Along with all of the headaches that brings for my wife (and by association, for myself) there is the small issue of my not having a suit in Korea. Today, at the behest of her father, we tackled that problem.

There is a small tailor, tucked away in our area of Seoul, that is apparently quite well known in Korea. He has won some award or other 5 years running. Typically, this means his prices have increased 5 years running. We entered his small store, and took a seat. After a brief conversation with my wife, I was invited to look over the different fabrics available. We were given around 5 or 6 different books to look through, and the first one we opened had a list of prices that were far more than the typical Itaewon tailor (well known for their price gouging) would charge. It was explained that the 3 prices we saw were (from cheapest to the most expensive) factory made, made to measure (semi-bespoke), and bespoke. Time constraints mean we have no time for bespoke (the husband-to-be’s mother consulted a fortune-teller who decided their wedding must be held THIS lunar year – bringing the date forward by 10 months, just like that).

As I was flicking through the samples, the wife took out her phone and called her father. She then handed the phone to the tailor, who was exceptionally happy to hear from him. A few minutes later we were told to ignore all prices, as we would only be charged for materials, that he was very happy to be able to take care of us, and repay a favour. My immediate reaction was that this is all very “Godfather”, but I know my Father-in-law is not that kind of person. He is a devout Christian (though not of the particularly nutty variety found in Korea), he does a lot of charity work, and he works hard maintaining his top-tier restaurant. I suspect (hope?) that this is somebody’s way of repaying some kindness shown in the past. He then removed the cheaper fabric books, and left us with the 2 ‘better’ options.

The fitting process was quite hilarious. First I had to decide on a style. The tailor was showing me pictures of all the latest fashions from Europe and Korea – Skinny suits with skinny collars. I explained that my typically English body, and the way I have ‘grown’ since I married such a wonderful cook, always prevents such items from giving the skinny look they intend. They just look small!

We spent a few hours getting the measurements “just so”, and though my wife did a sterling job with the translation, they couldn’t bring themselves to ask which way I dressed via her. Instead, when she went looking to see what baby was doing was doing, the tailor whispered to me, intonation indicating a question, “Penis? Penis?”. It took a few moments before I realised that he was neither offering, nor asking for one.

So… how much will it all cost? I’m not sure. Father-in-law has had it charged to his account. I do know that the braces I chose cost 120,000, (discounted to the 70,000 cost), and that I probably should have shopped around for them, but as for the suit itself… I have no idea.

My Korean sucks!

December 5th, 2009 | 1 Comment | Posted in Korea, education

It is a common misconception that those of us married to Koreans have an ‘on-tap’ Korean language tutor, and that our language abilities should be much better than people who do not have such ready access to a Korean to assist. My F-pat friends and I know that this is not always the case. Before I met my wife I studied Korean out of necessity. After I met her, the necessity disappeared. Rather than having access to a tutor, I found that I had access to a translator. This is MUCH more convenient! Or is it?

Sure, I can get pretty much anything I want in Korea. If I need a new bank account, my wife speeds up the process. If I want to get insurance, my wife gets it for me. When I needed business cards printed up, the wife came along for the ride. When I had to go and give evidence at the Police station, my wife ensured that there was no ambiguity when my words were translated from English to Korean.

I did try to study more, but my wife is not a teacher. If I am honest, I don’t want her to be my teacher, in much the same way I don’t want to be her teacher. I have a great set of Textbooks (Integrated Korean – Google it), but sometimes I need access to a teacher who can explain why things happen to be the way they are. Once the baby came along, my wife had less time to help out. This caused me to cut back to the point where I was only learning what I needed to survive alone. Important stuff could wait!

There has always been a little resentment in the family when it comes to my language abilities. Whilst the grandmother and the father-in-law accepted my poor language abilities 2 years ago, they are less comfortable doing so now. My wife’s sister has commented that it would be easier for me to learn Korean than it would be for all of them to learn English – and that is a pretty good argument. The father-in-law is most distressed, because he has a son-in-law that he can not properly communicate with. These people all want a relationship with me, and the language barrier is huge.

Now, my daughter is really starting to talk. She speaks a few words of English and can understand what I say to her, but her vocabulary is 75% Korean. She is starting to form her first sentences, and these are also in Korean. It’s about time I get off my arse and start to study the language properly.

I am a firm believer in L2 grammar being taught in L1. It cuts down on any confusion, especially during the early stages of language acquisition. So… I went looking for places to study. There are just a few options for studying in a traditional environment:

  • Language exchange: This could be good if it wasn’t for the fact that too many ‘tutors’ are really just looking for free English lessons, and they are not usually qualified to teach.
  • University: Many of the Korean Universities offer a program that is 3 hours per day, 5 days a week. This is expensive, though the cost per hour is pretty cheap.
  • Hagwons: There are a few hagwons offering classes. These usually cost a little more per hour than the University classes, but the reduced hours (usually 1 or 2 per day) does make the outlay significantly less each month.

At first I decided upon a University course. The wife agrees that it is a good investment, and she says that every fluent Korean speaking foreigner she has met has studied at Yonsei. The problem is, the 3 hour classes, and the location of the University, means that I would have real trouble making it to work each day. The same is true of all other Universities in Seoul, as they all offer similar deals, with similar times. My regular job has me travel a lot, and I need to be at different places in Seoul each afternoon. I also have an extra job in Goyang that I need to be at for 2pm on Monday. The Universities are out.

I then looked at Hagwons, and found 3 which offered classes:

  • Seoul KLA, with campuses in Gangnam and Jongro, offer classes from 10-11:50 daily (370K/month), though I have it on good authority that their books are pretty bad. (They actually offer a range of packages, included afternoons, evenings, or saturday intensives).
  • Metro Korea Academy near city hall offer a range of classes at slightly lower rates: 5 days from 10-11:50 costs 350K, or there are 3 days (M/W/F) for 230K. (Again, check the site for other options, as they also offer a range of classes that do not interest me).
  • YBM offer a full range of courses at Jongro, and their 9-10:50 classes would suit me (or perhaps the 10-12:50). They use the Konguk and Yonsei University textbooks (a good thing) and the tuition for 2 class hours/day is just 226K/month. Bargain!

I had heard decent things about YBM, and I was going to sign up, but then my employers presented me with an opportunity to be involved in the writing of textbooks for a new home-study course. I would be spending some time at head-office, and breakfast meetings are pretty much the norm in any deadline driven environment. I could have said no, but figuring this was a great opportunity to get involved with an aspect of EFL I had never experienced, the hagwon idea had to be shelved.

My wife was pretty pleased about this. Whilst she has a lot of respect for the Yonsei University program, she does not think a hagwon will be as useful. She learned English through a combination of self-study and having to deal with schools in the US/Canada as part of her (pre-marriage) job placing students overseas. She thinks I would do much better studying a little each day and then getting out and using what I have learned. She is probably right…

I went back to the drawing board. It looks like I was going to be stuck with textbooks and the internet. I needed a plan!

I went back over the Sogang program, but I found I needed more instruction. I looked at KoreanClass101.com and whilst I was impressed with the amount of content, I found the site difficult to navigate. I thought it was too ‘busy’ and not easy to dip into, and that they were trying to throw together content you could memorise without any real structure (much like the PS English program in Korea).

I had also read somewhere (and I can’t remember where) about  learnkoreanonline. I remembered that it was a site run by an expat in Korea, and after digging around, I realised it was somebody I had met a few years earlier and I was about to see him again at a mutual friends birthday party. His name is Rob, and he is one of those ‘all-round good guys!’

I signed up for the 4 hours of free videos that he offers for new learners of Korean, just to get a feel for the classes. His site is pretty simple: you get emailed a handout, you print it, and you watch videos of him teaching a live class at his school in Korea. The other students ask the questions you probably would, and he will answer any questions you post on his site, often by creating a video response.

After having the site checked our by the wife (who commended his Korean skills) and a foreigner friend who studied at Yonsei many years ago (who said he was the first foreigner he had seen teach Korean without making an arse of himself) I signed up. I used the wife’s details, so that he would not know it was me, and I am currently waiting on lesson 10. So that people are not overwhelmed, or skip ahead before they are ready, he releases a class every 5 days. The material is a little low for me right now, so it is a great refresher, though I can see how it would be perfect for any new learner who did not have the time/money to study formally. I have learned something new with of these beginner classes, as Rob explains the ‘why’ stuff very well. The why stuff is pretty simple, you just need a decent teacher explaining it!

So… Each class is around 40-60 minutes of video. After the initial freebies are up, you pay just $27 a month (as at December 2009). It is money well spent! After the class, I run refreshers on the subway by copying the vocabulary to google docs and downloading it to my ipod touch so that I can use it with gflash. Best of all, I jumped into my Integrated Korean book again last night, and without even realising it, I am more than ready to continue with that alongside the learnkoreanonline course.

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